Heidi the cross-eyed opossum has died

The most popular German import since schnitzel, Heidi the cross-eyed opossum has died.

Keepers at the German zoo where the squinty marsupial lived, said: "Heidi, our cross-eyed opossum, has closed her eyes forever today."

She was suffering from arthritis and her quality of life was said to be poor. She never looked forward to anything (too soon?).

RIP Heidi.

Jail-break parrots are teaching their wild cousins to speak

This is possibly the most epic news I have heard all week. Apparently, pet parrots who have escaped from their cages have been teaching wild birds how to speak.

Naturalists in Australia have been panicked phone calls from folk who have heard wild birds in their garden ‘speaking’ to them.

How terrifying would that be? It would be enough to make you put down your breakfast beer.

Stuff wot I baked: Coconut bread

My first attempt at any sort of tea loaf in over a year. Rather pleased with the results.

This woman is my idol

She's a pioneer. I could only dream of being this comfortable in my own skin.

Most celebrities hate me… How I thumb-warred jason Derulo

I'm lucky enough to have a day job where I get to meet famous people who we all know are exactly like us, only richer, better looking and more successful.

However, I have this amazing knack of making them hate me.

But, against the odds, Jason Derulo seemed to think I was alright. Check out the edited version and the version where he tried to get me laid by name-checking my boyfriend, below…

Happy Mondays: Jedi Kittens

I'm pretty sure that Jedi kittens are the whole reason George Lucas set up the whole Star Wars franchise…

The Wanted sang me a song…

Don't hate.

I don't understand how she thought that this was going to end any differently

A woman who thought she was buying an Apple iPad 2 for the bargain price of £110 ended up buying a plank of wood with the Apple logo painted on it.

The woman bought the 'iPad 2' from two men in a car park in Spartanburg, South Carolina. The two men claimed that they had bought amount of iPad 2s for a cheap price and were selling them on.

They even reduced the price by $120 from their original price of $300, carried the box to the woman's car and gave her a (fake) receipt.

Abused kids hate me, apparently…

Just seen this new advert from the NSPCC. Can't help but feel a little hurt.

If I wanted to have hate-filled accusations thrown at me by minors, I wouldn't have given that baby up for adoption while I was doing my GCSEs.

My capitcha is a creeper

Interspecies friendship: Alpaca and kitten

Because it's raining outside, let me warm the cockles of your heart…

Bully cat shoves cat in a box

I shouldn't laugh, but…