Saturday, 30 April 2011

Kill it with fire!

The lyrics appear to be 'ain't gonna pee pee in my bed tonight'.

Oh, and the little girl that is singing is actually a boy, called Angelo.

And this is what he looks like now:

You can see more of the Kelly family on their website, and can even apparently see them in concert.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Insane Ian takes on Bruno Mars

Meet Insane Ian.

Alright, he may look a bit like a sex offender, and you definitely wouldn't leave your kids with him, but his lyrical genius has had me giggling like a loon, mainly when alone and on public transport, all week.

He's set to be the latest internet sensation with his fairly amusing rendition of Bruno Mars' Grenade, reworked into the style of a Mario Bro.

The best bit: he didn't have to buy any of the props he used in the video. this was just shit he had laying around. This man is a god, and must be worshipped as such.

Almost as good is his justification for the video: "If you're creative, you can re-arrange the letters in "Bruno Mars" to spell "Mario Bros". Kinda."

Watch the video below and be prepared to be blown away…

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Interpsecies friendship: Cat wuvs dolphin

I'm not sure what it says about the state of our nation when less than half of people vote, but almost 800,000 tune in to watch a video of a dolphin playing with a cat.

But, in the words of Chandler Bing, could it BE any more adorable?

*Edit* original video was taken down by some grouch with a copyright claim. Have added new one.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Drunk Australian beekeeper ends up with 60 stings after thinking that the bees were 'asleep'

I'm not sure that I need to add any more to this story. The title has pretty much summed it up.

Andrew Short, an amateur beekeeper, returned home from the Melbourne Comedy Festival Monday evening in high spirits and thought he'd move a hive from his backyard to the roof of his house.

An amateur beekeeper is recovering in hospital after being stung over 60 times.

He figured that as it was past midnight, the bees would be asleep.

Instead, as bees angry are prone to do, they attacked him, stinging him more than 60 times.

On a scale of one-to Anne Boleyn, how off your head would you have to be (bee) to ever think that this was a good idea? Alcohol + Australian + ladder + roof + angry bees is literally a recipe for disaster.

In other news, glove found on fence and bear thought to have pooped in woods.

An anyone who bee-keeps in a tweed jacket is pretty much asking for it anyway.

*edit* have just noticed that he is still wearing his hospital ID band in the photo.

Heartwarmer: Farmers in Tanzania paint chickens pink and purple to thwart hawks

How's this for Easter chicks; cunning farmers in Tanzania are outwitting hawks by dying their chickens pink and purple

Farmers in Tanzania sick of losing their chickens to hungry hawks, have taken drastic, if creative action, thanks to an innovative programme funded by UK aid and a little bit of pink dye.

How's this for Easter chicks; cunning farmers in Tanzania are outwitting hawks by dying their chickens pink and purple

People from Tanzania typically earn less than £7 per month. A mature chicken is worth around £3. One farmer lost 36 of the feathery creatures in a month. That's more than a year's wages.

For some reasons, the hawks won't touched a brightly coloured bird. Possibly because they think it's disease.

Dying and vaccinating a chicken costs about 10p, and the money saved can be used for food or school fees.

Sorry for the lack of funnies, but this story warmed the cockles of my stone-cold heart.

Monday, 18 April 2011

My mother the troll

Move over Jesus, Kate Middleton's face spotted on jelly bean

You know that Royal Wedding mania has reached fever pitch when the future queen's face is spotted on sugary confectionary:

Kate Middleton's face spotted on jelly bean

For just £500 and an eBay account it could all be yours.

Though, for £500 and an eBay account you could probably buy yourself a ticket to the actual wedding, or some camouflage gear and a bucket full of standard jellybeans to pelt the happy couple with.

Friday, 15 April 2011

Squirrel is back on the menu

A scottish restaurant is dishing up grey squirrels to hungry customers.

The owner of the restaurant says that it is the “ultimate ethical food” because grey squirrels are free range, low in fat, local to the area and are going to be killed anyway- they're culled in Scotland to protect the native Scottish reds.

Despite PETA protestors wetting their pants over the news, the furry tree rats have sold out every day they've been on the menu.

Personally, I don't see what the fuss is about. A squirrel is no cuter than a lamb or a little piggy-wig (think Babe and Baaa-Raaammm-Ewwwweeee) and if they're going to be killed anyway, at least their deaths are sparing some other little moo-cows or chicky-wicks that would otherwise be on a plate.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Awesomest t-shirt in the world

I don't think that I have ever looked more awesome in my life, than I did at that moment.

T-shirt is from 8-ball. Game - models own.

Stuff wot I baked: chocolate fudge cupcakes

Chocolate fudge cupcakes. First cakes I've made in ages. Turned out alright - the icing was a bit too gummy for my liking, but tasted great. Won me some brownie points with the boys, anyway.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Just don't drink the Kool-aid…

I'm pretty sure this is how bad religions start.

Statement rings

I have a penchant for statement rings. These I already own…

Rabbit ring, £1, Primark (modelled by the lovely Raffacakes)

Vintage bird ring, £12, Accessorize - its little body opens and closes on a magnetic hinge.

And many, many more…

However, I have a strong yearning for these little beauties…

Truly, Madly, Deeply ring, £7, Accessorize - ok, yes, I have chosen this for the Savage Garden song of the same name.

As pretty as these rings are, they do not come without a price. I have accidentally gauged myself in the face with their sharp prongs many a time.

What do you think about statement rings?

Sunday, 10 April 2011

With this ring I here brand you…

Maybe I am just a romantic, or maybe I am just high on cheese, but I thought that this ring deserved a post all of its own…
"A few years ago a Korean singer wrote a song about the sunburn mark that he found on his finger after he broke up with his girlfriend and removed a ring he had been wearing for a long time.

"This is the story that inspired Jungyun Yoon to make ‘Inner message’, a ring with hidden letters on the inside. Inner message is a ring that leaves an impression on the finger.

"Imagine that your lover giving you a ring that on the surface seems plain, but later when you take the ring off; it says, “Marry me.”

Though, IMHO, the real market lies in belts with a buckle which would imprint your name or 'taken' above your beloved's showpiece.

But why stop with imprinting a message on their skin when you could always go the whole hog and insist on some personalised branding

Or even some good ol' fashioned scarification…

I know which I'd chose.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

I am now officially nerd-bait

Binary-code nail varnish. Best way to impress the 01010101 you love.

The binary code actually translates as the lyrics to Aha's Take On Me.

Let me tell you how I did it…

Binary code nail varnish. You will need…

Tattoo transfer printer paper
Access to a binary code translator on the net
Silver nail varnish
Clear nail varnish

Translate your binary code. Copypasta it into a word document.

Print it out on the transfer paper, following manufacturers instructions.

Cut the transfers to fit. Press the transfers on, then paint over with the clear nail varnish.

Voila! Nerd-bait.

I'm fairly easily lead while drunk

One quiet drink at Le Cave turned into a veritable feast of snails, bread, wine cold meats and cheese…


Friday, 1 April 2011

No, this isn't an April Fools' Joke…

… It's possibly the most epic thing I have ever seen.

Boris Johnson and Arnold Schwarzenegger have teamed up to promote the Boris Bikes.

Boris Johnson and Arnold Schwarzenegger promote London's bikes


Apparently they went to a nice relaxing cycle then talked green issue in Bo-Jo's headquarter's.

I would literally sell a kidney to have been a guest at that teaparty.